discombobulated

I am sitting here, procrastinating, watching the rain sweeping in curtains across the city buildings, followed by patches of blue sky and billowing glowing white clouds. I had an atrocious night's sleep, wracked with bad dreams about murder and guilt. Perhaps it was due to all those Natural Confectionary Company Party Mix lollies I ate before bed. 

So now I've drowned my sorrows in maple syrup (the real stuff not that hideous fake corn syrup goop), French toast and tea but I feel like the evil of the night is still just lurking behind my right shoulder. I know the bad dreams are really from some unprocessed stuff that came up yesterday but I don't know what is making me feel worse, the actual or the imaginary. 

And just to let you know I didn't actually kill anyone in the dreams but I was the accomplice who knew it was going on and didn't do anything about it. Hence the guilt by association, which is worse in a way. 

Perhaps a bit of cleaning is in order (house not mind!) and I have barely a week in which to get this place ship-shape. A deadline looms!